How a Fire Is Like A Relationship

The first push, the effort of the spark. It used to be a great physical effort to start a fire. That first flame that starts the fire, being ready with the materials to kindle and keep it going. You need to know what special things, given the environment, it will take to start that spark and burn; it definitely takes a while to learn this with many failed attempts at first. What to say to get even the smallest amount of fire to ignite. What is the atmosphere of the relationship, in business or romance? What must be considered before we initiate the effort of trying to start anything? What components do you need to get a flame that will hold when you add more kindling? 

The flame usually needs some air to get through the smoky beginning. Some talk to get the fire to take.

Often a fire will die at this point, and you need to start over with some new material.

Say it takes, on the first date, when the flame is small, you don't buy the person a house just as you don't start a fire with a big log. Use kindle to build something that will take on a big log. You can't start a fire by throwing a big log on a really small amount of burning kindling. 

Air on the fire is sometimes necessary, but not always. Sometimes the environment helps you out just enough, or too much, and again, the flame is extinguished. Communication, calling, the news, and other competition. Especially for a small fire. You have to know just how much air you may have to add at the beginning; too much can blow out the potential or create a hot fire that just burns out too fast without tangible gestures or kindling.

The gifts must be interspersed with some communication, or you get a smoky, annoying smolder. Your fire can't have lumped-together kindling or wood. Air must pass between the fuel.

When the relationship is hot but you neglect to throw some fuel or tangible goods on the fire (talking won't keep the fire going), it turns to a bed of hot coals that needs a little more wood (a date?) and a little communication (air) to get going again. 

I used to like the fast fires you use as tools—the small flames to warm a drink fast, melt snow, or cook a small bit of meat—that you throw just the right amount of fast-burning, hard-earned kindling-sized gestures on; just enough heat to get the job done. But if you are looking to heat a home for a while and make a relationship that lasts and in which air finds its own way to the flame, you need to invest in big logs. Logs have a tangible earth element to them. If you build a fire on dry vegetable matter without rocks and a clay base, the fire can easily catch on many things and spread rapidly, get out of control, and destroy many things; so, if you don't have a structure to your relationship or control of the passion, you can easily use up too much fuel or money and destroy the life around you, using all your resources.

Big logs will keep a fire going and provide steady and sure heat, but it's the little kindling and twigs that you add to this, the little gifts and gestures, that really get a fire hot and blazing; the blaze is short, and getting kindling takes time; that is when the big logs will have to just keep the relationship cozy.

The more fires you start, the better you become at it. You get faster, more efficient, more in control, and more versed in knowing what elements to add at what time for the exact burn you are after. You become more versatile in how to start a reliable fire and the elements required.

Grease can also keep a fire, but you still need a wick or a touch of reality. The grease is humor, understanding, maybe. All the humor and great chemistry mean nothing if there is no financial or tangible foundation on which to keep the fire burning. You can have a lot of heat and fire with a large "wick," but you also need the communication and fun of the air and grease to support the flame.

Water on everything can make it difficult if not impossible to start a fire; magic, astrology, and the need to heal everything just douse a flame. When the environment is full of emotions, we may say the same. 

When the fire is over, it leaves nothing but ashes and potential, but it will take a long time for life to begin again, and it will be better than before.