Wiping your Ass In Winter.

I used to dread the moment pressure would, out of the blue, build up and I was surrounded by snow in minus thirty Celsius. Not only did I have to fumble with my rear suspenders loop straps, I knew my hand was going to get cold, wet, probably somewhat dirty, eventually frozen and water was going to drip down my leg  when I was done. This was the realty of wiping my butt with just snow or only a little better - snowy moss.

I was lucky to find a patch of moss after doing a short search in my environment. Then it occurred to me - why do I have to use snow or just moss (something I may reach for in the summer)? I started using anything but. The point is to relocate the filth that is lingering after a squat and this can be anything from the use of the surface of an appropriate broken dead standing tree or stick (the symbolism concerns me) to some bunched dead tall grass, used in a sweeping motion. 

If I’m lucky I may locate a blow over with dry moss, but some dry moss tends to break apparat and leave things dirtier. 

You don’t rub really hard as you would with TP; just make sure the filth is leaving, repeat, and pull those warm trousers back up.

These days, the branch I found to be such a good choice, I use it even in the summer.

Hopefully, I'm not fulfilling any latent subconscious thoughts or anything...